I am expendable. That is the lesson this election has driven into my head. I am expendable and so many of my countrypersons proudly hold an incredible amount of contempt for people like me and my marginalized friends.
My employer didn’t offer me health insurance until they were forced to under the ADA. I have relied on that insurance to be able afford the doctors visits, medication, corrective lenses, and even surgery I needed to make my life more livable. Dealing with the threat of losing that, the threat of losing my access to the medicines and care that nudge the scales more towards the “let’s go on living” side in my constant struggle with life-threatening depression is asking a lot of me.
I don’t know how to overcome this when the tools I need to do so will likely be taken away. I don’t know how I can go back to barely surviving myself. Loss of hope is one of the most difficult symptoms to deal with and, right now, I feel so little.
My apologies for such a dark post; I had to get this off my chest.